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Throughout recent years, approaches to parenting have changed significantly, veering away from the typical Asian ways of parenting. When juggling between work, getting enough sleep and trying to figure out the best way to parent, don’t you wish there was someone to help you make sense of it all?
Enter Racheal Kwacz, a Child and Family Development Specialist who offers a fresh perspective in redefining Asian parenting through concepts of respectful parenting while keeping within the Asian context.
A firm believer in building community, Racheal has reached hundreds of parents through her online pandemic-proof program, cultivating a close-knit circle of support among parents who are navigating through this joyous chapter in their life.
Find out more about Racheal in the following Q&A….
Ever since I embarked on teaching parents about ‘Respectful Parenting in Malaysia’, it has been the stories I get to witness and listen and be a part of everyday. There’s a certain sacredness in being invited to come alongside in people’s most intimate and vulnerable moments and to be able to just hold that space and say, I’ll sit here with you in the hard for a while. I’ll remind you of your bests and I’ll make space for the hard, we’ll get compassionately curious together and find what works for you whether in parenting, relationships, work, personal.
The greatest job satisfaction will forever be to watch these mamas and daddies and little ones and women and professionals fly. Just really take off because they have come home to themselves and are so sure of who and whose they are. They go on to do incredible things and become changemakers and advocates, fully standing in their own light and that’s one of the best feelings in the world. To watch them grow and step into their own and not need you anymore and to quietly proudly cheer them on!
I am incredibly grateful that we were able to stay safe at home very early on in the pandemic. Almost two years later, we are stronger as a family, having weathered some hard storms both emotionally, physically, and mentally and in a lot of ways, it’s drawn us closer to what and who we want to be for ourselves, our family, and each other. I think of this pandemic as the great equalizer, of having this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to just really wipe it all clean and having the time and space to say this is important to me, this is what matters, this no longer serves me. Plus, Marie Kondo-ing our life from every aspect!
My husband amazingly home schools our daughter and it has been one of the most beautiful relationships to watch grow and nurture. They speak their own language and our daughter has thrived during this time.
To be honest, I’m not a morning person at all! My daughter and husband get up at 6am and I am a solid 10am kinda girl because I work late nights usually up to 2-3am to accommodate not only time zones but also mamatime. My programs and workshops run later at night after the little ones go to bed so we have uninterrupted parent time together to explore.
I usually start the day by replying a lot of messages that have come in overnight, have breakfast together with my daughter and catch up with her day so far, building in these precious pockets of connection that allow her to get her tank filled. I get lunch started or ordered then it’s usually office time for me which consist of either writing, putting together workshops, business planning or private consults over the kid’s naptimes. Are you beginning to see a pattern here? Thankfully I have an incredible team that helps me coordinate and allows me to be at my best, doing what I love which is the creating and meeting and journeying together.
When my daughter wakes up from nap around 4pm, I take a strategic break to intentionally spend time with her. We go to the park, play, read, talk, make dinner together and that way when my husband takes over after dinner, our tanks are full and it’s an easy disconnect because nighttime is usually one of the most important parts of my day!
Once it hits night time, I start prepping to teach, going over notes and running through whatever details I might need for that night and the teaching portion of the masterclass programs or private consultations usually take about three hours start to finish. Then there is a debrief with my team, follow-up and after-care notes. I usually take another mini break to spend a little one-on-one time with my husband which isn’t just so important for our marriage but also my sanity!
After that, I go back to my office and chart or plan for the next day, work on the program or more often than not, correspond with mamas up late at night feeding. The next day, it repeats again! It’s almost very similar every week day yet also wildly different in the people I meet, topics I teach, or events that I am part of that week.
The biggest lesson is the importance of rest and how sacred it is for me as a person, especially for my heart, my brain, my creativity, my relationships, my growth. I took a six-month sabbatical when we had to go into strict quarantine because, I was just trying to survive. We went from a busy lifestyle with lots of support to completely having to reimagine life. Early on in the pandemic, there wasn’t even much available online so I had to figure out how I could get groceries or crucial meds delivered then figure it out among all other things of running a household.
My husband and I had to figure out the logistics running our retail business. Putting everything on hold for six months and deciding what was most important was life-changing. Despite all the circumstances, our family had the gift of time together that we really never quite had before. From pre-pandemic where we were constantly trying to find more pockets of time to 24/7 time together, where we didn’t even leave the front door. Rest time was crucial for me as a parent. Protecting it, prioritizing it so I would have pockets that I could just be me. For my career, having that sabbatical birthed a whole new chapter and incredible season for my company. It’s where the Masterclass programs were built and imagined and five incredible cohorts later, it is everything. Rest is such a crucial part of our language now that at the end of every intense 8-week program (every Monday and Friday is a live teach or live coach with up to 18 dedicated students at a time), I intentionally schedule a week or two if I can of rest and dedicated family/play/me time because I know how important and sacred it is to us and my work.
A big part of my practice is just checking in. Checking in to see what I need heart and body in this moment which means it could range anywhere from a walk in nature, a really special meditation, shadow work, intuitive movement, wild dance parties with my daughter, yoga, art, journaling, painting, or just giving myself space to really feel whatever feelings I’m feeling which sometimes might also mean, having a really good cry in a safe supported space. The work that I do is trauma-informed which is guided by the principle that your mind and body is connected so feeling our feelings is a really big practice in our home!
Probably not as good as it should be! I try my very best but I will admit that especially being home all the time, this definitely gets put on the back burner a lot. I think I’m pretty simple and I try my best to wash, tone, serum, under-eye cream, moisturize, an at-home mask or peel every once in a while. However, this pandemic has allowed me to do a lot of things I never would have ever imagined I would do at home – waxing, dyeing, nails, hair, everything, oh my!
I love anything from La Mer to the online-purchased 10 pieces in a box hydrating masks! My must-haves are Swissline Smart Cream, Shu Uemura Face Oil, Dermalogica Age Smart Line and Cle de Peau The Serum.
One of my proudest moments would be watching the families and children that have journeyed with me, thrive. Every time I step into a room or workshop, I try to remember to just do it for the one. From one parent that’s really at breaking point, to another that’s learning how to come home to who they are. You literally watch them come alive before your eyes and go on to be world changers because someone believed in their best. Whether from the first kid I taught 20 years ago or the parent I’m going to meet tomorrow. That’s what will forever make me the proudest.
I think a lot of my career milestones has been about trailblazing the path for something new whether it’s being the first Respectful Parenting coach in Malaysia, redefining Asian parenting in a new light with compassion and understanding or marrying brain-based science with heart-centred approaches, it’s always come from the little place within that said what if? It’s about listening to that tiny voice within and trusting it even when it’s just a whisper. Whispers can turn into roars and that’s really been so much of my journey. Even though there’s a serious internal introverted battle between no and pick someone else, it’s about remembering my purpose and knowing what’s true to me.
What if you fail, but darling, what if you fly? I can’t say I’ve never failed but oh how we have flown and it has always come from listening to that little voice within. It’s why the majority of my workshops are built around the principle that we build not for what works for everyone, but for what feels right for you and your family. No shame, no blame, no judgment.
Find your people. People that will fight for you and believe in you and come alongside you. I couldn’t have done any of this alone whether it was having doors opened or even having the village help me with my child while I dream big dreams. My husband is one of my biggest cheerleaders, he has this beautiful quiet confidence and trust in me and it allows me to be both mama, wife and specialist at my best at the same time.
My team are people that I would trust with my life and who I know speak and live our culture and language. I am very particular and protective about the partners that I work with because the people that you choose to surround with and be inspired or led by and lead really matter not just to your work but to the direction and the vision that you build.
Even the calibre of parents that attend the programs and workshops are truly some of the most diverse and biggest advocates of my work. They make me want to do better but more than anything else, it’s knowing that while I won’t always be for everyone, for the ones I am for, being dedicated and true to the vision and purpose is so important not just to personal but also business growth. Find your people, stay true to yourself and the vision.
Myeppo Talks To… is a weekly series in which we profile dynamic personalities. It is out every Monday. For more on Racheal, follow her @rachealkwacz on Instagram.
